I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for Mogen David beverages.
It was their sacramental concord grape wine, after all, served at Jeffrey Goldberg’s bar-mitzvah, on which I first got tipsy, as did my friend and classmate, Nicole Corregan, leading to our initial make-out session in the darkened recreation room of the B’nai Israel Synogogue in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania sometime in the spring of 1970.
So, I guess I’ve known all along that their products have a performance-enhancing effect, but I guess I never realized how powerful was that influence until last night when, thanks to numerous shots of multi-colored (and allegedly multi-flavored) Mogen David MD 20/20 (aka Mad Dog), a dozen or so bike racers was eventually, after four or five heats, winnowed down to three podium standees (standing, admittedly, a bit wobbly), topped by the very aero Mike Keller, who showed up just in time for the first heat—demonstrating, I guess, just how important warm-up and preparation is for an event like this.
I managed to get eliminated in the first race of the night, meaning that I only got to (had to) down one shot of the “blueberry-flavored” Tidy Bowl-colored fortified wine. More successful racers were required to consume another round at the start and finish of subsequent heats, meaning that those stalwart souls who made it through to the finals had thrown down something on the order of sixteen or twenty ounces of what basically amounts to over-the-counter cough suppressant marketed as a party drink to college students, but which is also widely consumed by homeless alcoholics in need of maximum alcohol kick for minimum cost.
I don’t know if MD 20/20 has made it onto this summer’s Olympics’ list of banned substances; based on last night’s Pukesprints event, it should probably be prohibited if the event is competitive fun-making; nobody actually hurled (at least on my watch), but I threw up my hands in wonder and joy like mad (dog.)
It was their sacramental concord grape wine, after all, served at Jeffrey Goldberg’s bar-mitzvah, on which I first got tipsy, as did my friend and classmate, Nicole Corregan, leading to our initial make-out session in the darkened recreation room of the B’nai Israel Synogogue in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania sometime in the spring of 1970.
So, I guess I’ve known all along that their products have a performance-enhancing effect, but I guess I never realized how powerful was that influence until last night when, thanks to numerous shots of multi-colored (and allegedly multi-flavored) Mogen David MD 20/20 (aka Mad Dog), a dozen or so bike racers was eventually, after four or five heats, winnowed down to three podium standees (standing, admittedly, a bit wobbly), topped by the very aero Mike Keller, who showed up just in time for the first heat—demonstrating, I guess, just how important warm-up and preparation is for an event like this.
I managed to get eliminated in the first race of the night, meaning that I only got to (had to) down one shot of the “blueberry-flavored” Tidy Bowl-colored fortified wine. More successful racers were required to consume another round at the start and finish of subsequent heats, meaning that those stalwart souls who made it through to the finals had thrown down something on the order of sixteen or twenty ounces of what basically amounts to over-the-counter cough suppressant marketed as a party drink to college students, but which is also widely consumed by homeless alcoholics in need of maximum alcohol kick for minimum cost.
I don’t know if MD 20/20 has made it onto this summer’s Olympics’ list of banned substances; based on last night’s Pukesprints event, it should probably be prohibited if the event is competitive fun-making; nobody actually hurled (at least on my watch), but I threw up my hands in wonder and joy like mad (dog.)
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