Tradition

Yes, of course, Christmas is an over-commercialized nightmare that has nothing to do with the original spirit of the occasion.  And, sure, Hannukah is pretty much a made-up holiday so that Jewish kids don’t feel left out during December.  And everybody knows that all of the contemporary religious festivities associated with the season are just pale reflections of the original pagan celebrations conducted by our early human ancestors.  

It’s all just a big marketing ploy by society, organized religion, and commerce to sell shit at the end of the year so that annual quotas can be met and healthy bottom-lines secured.

But it’s all okay by me if it makes possible some of the following:

• Congregating at the diviest bar in the fanciest part of town with several dozen friends and acquaintances, many you haven’t seen in a while (if not longer) to drink pitchers of beer, pile gifts on a table and make bets on the outcome of televised fights
  
  
• Rolling uphill en masse, plenty of bicycle-mounted Christmas lights blinking away, to our fair city’s largest and spookiest park
  
  
• Fanning out on two wheels through said park in search of comfort stations and selfies
  
  
• Getting lost at least three times in the woods, following different colleagues more sure than you they knew the way, but no more likely than you be to be right
  
  
• Finally making it to the sought-after sylvan glade where a cheery blaze awaits and an endless amount of combustibles is made available thanks to strong arms and sharp teeth
  
  
• Taking the easy way out by following that cargo bike
  
  
• Arriving at an old-favorite watering hole to take over the entire outdoor patio for the sharing of presence and presents for all
  
  
• Singing a song that normally aggravates but when shouted together sparks joy

So, yeah, the holidays are stupid and stressful and overhyped but when that disaster yields disasters like these, then you gotta believe that holiday miracles are real, praise be.